My university grandson did a lot better job with his, but he's young, and I think the young have a better feel for this kind of "laissez-faire" writing. It was fun.
Here I am in this empty house, staring at the damp cloth in my hand
Sunlight streaming in.
"I forget what we meant to do with them, it was so long ago."
Shrugging it off - indifferent.
But little by little and bit by bit - we weighed each item's value
and filled the boxes.
tumbling over each other's sentences whatever the discussion
Satan and God and Jesus and Adam and Eve.
"It's all about attitude. Not facts.
It's all about how you react to the facts."
She thought about this old house and the building of it.
The contractor had to be home for his wedding.
He always parked his truck leaning sidewise just off the highway.
Betraying his way of thinking.
And then he died. In her arms, after breakfast one day.
Okay, your gauntlet poem is way better than mine! I tried and I think that with a little manipulation, it would work. But just taking lines and trying to arrange them "as is" to make them coherent is tricky! Your poem is quite good! Isn't it a neat little exercise? It sure makes you realize the kind of voice you have.
ReplyDeleteChar
I don't really think I got the right feel.
ReplyDeleteI did it quickly and didn't think it through very well.
But it was fun. And at least I learned enough to know that if I had been more intent, I'd have come up with a different product completely.